1st week...all i can say...is...boring...as usual...can't expect much tho....it's suppose to suck....heh....i mean really....not many ppl like sch...at least i think....no1 does....hmmm....i need to chill man...i needa relax and take things easy....my mind is very hectic already....trying not to think so much...all my probs...i just...wanna ditch it sumwhere....dunno where...heh.....so yea...sch was like everyday kind....nth new....was rather slpy....heh....so sch ended...doodadee....went jericho as always....played a few dota...yea man....so fun....then later took a break and watch ppl play....hmm....then went home..watch 7pm show....dots....so yea....looked at some blogskins...can't find ne thing nice...too many gurly skins....heh.....so yea...was dling bleach too...watch finish le....hehe...now i'm updatin lorz...trying to keep myself happy....dun like the way i am when i'm sad or angry... haha....listening to sum songs to lighten up=) heh...so yea....have fun peeps....nite to all=P hmm....well....beginning to hate this and that...going to be crazy , maybe...heh...also...i get angry easily too....life's a drag...i have no meaning in life...i'm an unwanted soul...abandoned , rejected soul....whichever...hah... but no matter how angry or what so ever....i will NEVER say or meant the 'f' word to any1...i'll try not to say it in vain or sumthin...hmmm....my life have broken in to a zillion pieces...heh...even a super glue won't work....sigh...enuff abt my thoughts....here's my life on 29 June 2005...morning... do the same stuff as few previous days....dis time...i wasn't the only 1 slpin in the morning b4 assembly....hah...well...today....the only teacher that was absent was my add maths teach....so lets start with the 1st 1....it was....Eng , was ok la...nth special...same goes for physics...then had recess , yadiyadi dar...then came dnt...omg...i'm so weak...took so long to file some crap....had to use hammer for chisellin....hit my fingers afew times....luckily i too lazy to use so much strength...so only abit pain...yea...crap aniwaes....then after that was a. maths lor....just did sum revision given from relief teach....then that was all for sch...i went home...changed and went jericho....had tuition there too....yea...then just hang ard then yea...now i'm at home....eating dinner....and blogging this useless updates...like who bothers....heh....watever.... well...then...gonna be moody all over again...dun bother abt me...i'm beyond hope...even hope betrays me...like wat the hell...heh....well...its just me i guess... *state of self-hate , self-denial , self-distrust...etc*yep...i'm off...yah....>~.~< hmm....so bored....no mood to be my happy , lame and foolish self....feel so dreadful....dunno why....well...usual stuff as yesterday....lessons today were... chinese , pe , eng , civics and chem....hah.... eng and civics teacher not in sch...so yea... had chinese , pe and chem only....so slack lor....so i was sleeping for 3 periods...woke up and my hand and legs felt numb...lol...must be my posture....heh....yea....then as usual...went jericho again...'DE JAVU' ...yea....watever....maybe i'm just talkin crap....hmm....then had tuition...was ok...i dun like the black chair...lol...lean back and...whoops...lol....kk...nvm....aniwaes....went there unprepared....no pencil and ruler....my other buds no calculator...heh....kk....so tuition ended and i went home alone...in the dark narrow path...kk watever...more of my crap...hmmm....yea...now i'm home....just gettin on with my hectic life.....till death will i be free.....NOT....lol...kk...watever.... going off nowz..... i'm too crappy le....cya numbskulls.....hahaha.....=.=''...zzz... so today's story...here it is...woke up...rub my eyes... yawn... yadiyadi dar... went school... at like...630AM!!! so i took a nap...haha...so weird...all alone...at that time... felt so free and peaceful...oh well...then later frens came....played tai ti as usual...so ya...ok....school started normally...morning devotion...lessons were boring....haha...time table changed...so actually...sch was rather slack today...so aniwaes...sch ended...jonathan decided to go jericho to have tuition with me...and it was suppose to be on wed...now its on tues...hiyo...so co-incidental...dunno if gd thing or not...LOL...alritez....diaoz....'Z' rawkz....heh....ok...aniwaes....it's settled anyway....so yep...tmr i'm having TU-IT-TION! at jericho....hahaz...so yea...what am i doin at this point of my meaningless life? i'm just blogging as u can see...and watchin da TV! 9pm chan 8 show...haha...i pity ah hock...hehes....really....so sadded....heh....the best thing is.....HE'S DUMB! like me...hah...yea... whatever....ok....guess...i'm gonna end herez... lemme end with da 'Z'! zzz... hmmm....as stated...sch starts...TMR! ahhh....oh no....so sad....haha....have to change my lifestyle lo....hmmm....today ar...had a nice slp...i slept till 830....so nice....1 of my longest slp...lol...then aniwaes...coleman wanted me go his hse b4 going church lo...so i went....play and wait for him and his bro to get rdy...hiyo...in the end we late...as usual...lol...yea...today at church went upstairs instead...hmm...was nice.....after tat...i stayed on in church waitin for my sis as she had meetin...andrew was with me...haha...so fun...okok....then i had to go gramps again...so sian....day b4 sch reopens cant go out with ma frans....urgh....then went gramps aniwaes...so boring...i was kinda tired too...my couz ask me go playgrnd with them so i went lor...i was stoning while they were playing...yadiyadidar....then went back for dinner...then went home...yar...then i had to go for a hair cut...so sad....i miss my spikes....like watever...lol....oh well...then now i'm watchin tv lorz...and feeling very sad...lol...stoning infrot of da tae vaye...as in TV with a slang....yep , i'm lame....so lonely again...see who to chat online=) haharz....oh well....cya fellow lamers....wahaha...i'm goin goin gone , like yesterday is GONE , like history is GONE....okoks...enuf crap...point is....I"M GOIN!.....GONE!*poof* rights...morning had to meet at 815 for fishing trip...all was well cept jeremy couldn't go le...so bad...haharz...well...so it was only me and andre...so well...we were kinda lost ya? haha...turned here and turned there...aiyo...haha...aniwaes...we finally found the place...and...it was freaking ISOLATED la...wah...haha...but the car ride was fun...very bumpy...so nice...lol...the place was swampy...haha... when we arrived there , the swamp was kinda dry...at noon...omg...the water level was very high lor...lol...was tempted to fish there...diaoz...lol...aniwaes...when me and dre took the rod...we were like...alritez...lets kick sum fishy arse...haha...we went here and there....and aiyo...andre ar...no patience de...prob it was a gd lesson for him today...haha...so yar...we went here and there....everywhere....we had some close 1s...haha...oh and...i even played with a little crab...use a broken old fish line to mingle with it...was bored ma...heh...so well..the worst thing wasn't the fact that we caught like...say....ZERO , nil , ko song! fishes...lol...we did catch...but they just cope the bait and escaped...haha....oh....i also wasted a bait...haha...threw too hard...and the bait came off...OPPS! lol...lucky hit no 1....if not...well...i think i'd be screwed....lol...yar...so we were so desperate of gettin A fish..but well...we failed...lol...tho....i guessed i was like slackin most of the time...haha...so went back home...well...wanted to go jericho but it was closed...and oh yar...andre and the rest took back sum fish....haha...i did not...=P...lazy....and the fish keep on flapping....aiyo....so troublesome...haha...then aniwaes...went out with andre and andrew lor....since not goin jericho....hmmm....had fun together....then yar...now i'm home....haha....so well...till next time...haha....baiyez! sigh...holidays are over soon....doomsday is at my doorstep...i really feel like dying....dun wanna go sch...all the pressure , stress....its killin me....i really wan a simple carefree life....like in those old films where ppl play on green fields where the wind blows smoothly , caressing ur face with a warm sweet feeling...haha....right....hmm.....i needa bond with my bros more....argh....i'll miss them when sch reopens....so sad....i sumtimes dream abt the world...like i mean....is it really just studies and work to offer on earth? i mean like wat the heck la....can't we just live happily and help 1 another...where every1 is kind and nice and watso ever....hmm...lol....guess its too much to ask for....haiz....damn sian now....i cant wait for youth tmr...heh....sian....i dun think i goin for the fishin trip on sat....i maybe go do my hmwk instead? sigh...damn lonely now...no frens online...no 1 smsin me again...lol...and...no 1 to talk to...hahas....dots....zzz.... well...this past days , i've been playin , having fun like its all there is in life...well...soon....i'll be getin hell i guess....gonna get jon to cremate me ba....hmmm.....sigh....i feel lost....REALLY...sch sucks....i wanna have holidays....EVERYday=( so sad...it will nev happen....hmmm.....who noes....i might suicide 1 day? everything's unexpected.....i might just drop dead....lifeless....heh....cheers to my doomed fate....hehe....sigh....i feel so useless....so inferior...so insignificant...so....like a NOBODY! ahhh......gosh....i'm scaring myself.....off to my doom....cya.... hmmm....well....i woke up at 5:35am , lol...no alarms no nth , i just opened my eyes and didn't felt tired...hmm...i think my slpin timing has screwed up somehwere...lol...i slept at 11.20pm....dunno why....yea...aniwaes....monday was ok....early start of the day was normal...played com=P , then later met andrew at 1:52pm....actually it was suppose to be 1pm , then he change to 1:30pm but instead he came late which was....1:52PM!!! lol...so i waited for ard 20 mins?....oh well....aniway....went to buy lunch and after that went jericho lor....then played till i had tuition ....haha....1st lesson there...was fun la....denial is a funny teacher....the worst is CHRIS CHEN! lol....jkjk....yea...watever....erm....then u noe wad...andrew waited till my tuition ended.....so cool....yea....then we decided to go home lorz....then i crossed the road with him to see him off....lol....yep....but when we crossed the road , we were like 1/4 past it already when it turned red light....=.='' we were like panicking jerkin forward and back , dunno where to go...lol...then we suddenly just jump to the middle part....lol....yar...funny lei....hehe....but try not to do it again...lol....so yea....thats abt it i guess....see wats up today...hehe....*yawn*.....hmmm....outside still dark....cats are afraid of dark....NAH....i'm just dumb....heh....i think i have 1 important characteristic as a cat....LAZINESS! yay....hooray....hahaha.....booya.....dots....zzz....okok....i'm sproutin nonsense as always....shhheeessshhh.....better go my other blog post liao....wait this 1 over-done...lol....cya.... heh...1 more week to sch reopens....ah....weehee.....i kinda happy i guess....to day church was ok....i guess....not much anyways....so diao....had to sit front row....cos kanna chased from usual area....lol....hmmm.....=.=''......lol.....anyways....went jericho after that....had a great time there....haha.....then later left me and andrew....ate dinner together....damn nice.....he's a good bro.....haha.....i ate so slow...and he had to wait for me....hehe....he my elder bro.....by 11 days=)haha.....there's a fun fair on his b'day....haha....cool....aniwaes...ppl.....on his b'day , 6 august , plz STACK HIM! haha.....such a nice bud i am , right? haha.....be happy ppl....its cool....yea.....zzz....i er shall er go er now er....LOL....haha....seeya peeps.....ur cat is outta here....(gotta go fish) lolz....NOT...kk....i'll stop postin crap.....cya aniwaes....>=D hmm...today ar....morning played warcraft lo...watch kidscentral cartoons=) yea....heh....left at 110 pm to j8 meet jem...then went novena meet aaron....to visit debra....yepp....only 4 ppl went....me , jem , arron and clarissa....hmmm....then went jericho for captain ball...was fun man....had a great time.....hmmm....it was funny too....aaron great entertainer....lol...played com there awhile....sad , had to go after awhile.....cos parents want me back so can have dinner outside together....yea...so now i'm back from dinner....haha.....zzz.....very bored and sian now....probably i go play soon baz.....okie....noth much today i guess.....so long.... hmmm.....today mornin went coleman hse...did wat we always do...then went jericho play com...cool...lol....then jem came watch us play com...then went church lo....aniwaes...feel so free...i think i'm crazy...heh...church was ok...i guess...hmmm...nth much happen....damn bored...sigh...zzz..... sigh...here it goes.....mornin went sch for ncc thing....had to shift stuff to new ncc room....yea....after that had a lil basket ball game with jon and other fren...i tyco won yea....heh....then i went home...cos coleman wasnt free...and andre wasnt too....it was like 12 pm....yea....then later andre ask me go plaza sing at 130....yea....we met at 130 in beshan instead , then go PS together.....told him abt my probs.....felt gd.....yea...haha....then we watch movie together lo.....batman begins....lol......nice nice.....but the show damn long....2hrs ard there w/o commercials....heh....then went jericho.....but not much happen...so yea...now i'm here blogging lo....no 1 to talk to....damn lonely ...heh.....sigh......gone....all gone....i'm gone.... sigh...i'm very bored and very much lonely now...no sms , no calls , no nth...heh...might as well be a cave cat...yea right...so lame...rights....anyway...i began my day today at coleman hse , had a lotta fun...he is a joybringer to me...yep...then played till like 1+ then went jericho...then there we just do wat we always do...PLAY! yea...then andrew came...whee....cool....so fun....played starcraft...which i'm a dumb NOOB at lor...haiz...but last match...we WON!but i didnt do much...haha....then came movie screening...so sian...very lil ppl came...and i fell aslp lor...damn tired lo....wat to do...hmmm....just having a sad feeling now....pondering on crap thoughts and yah...watever....hmmm....tmr i dun think is a gd day....got ncc...HAIZ! argh....hope it doesnt last for a long time...then can at least do sum stuff with my bros...i hope...hmm.....

sigh...if there's 1 thing that can cheer me up , i guess its my bros...hmmm....oh well....this sucks...bye dumb shitified blog...lol...zzz... yea...i'm just bored...dun noe wat to do...homework? nah...i dunno...right now...i really need to have a good bonding session with my bros...tho i sometimes am the 1 who dun go out with them...sigh...they really make me happy when i'm sad...they seem to noe how i feel...

hmm...sometimes i look down on myself...i feel inferior and stuff...but my bros make me feel equal...altho sumtimes i get jealous of them...yea...hmm....those ppl who noes my 2nd blog add...plz...keep it a secret or i have to change the add...so 'ma fan'...haha...zzz...

yea man...i really enjoy coleman's company...had a lotta fun...he's a gd fren and bro...

i'm thinking now...ever wonder how things would be if u didn't do this or that?maybe things would be different...totally...yea...

so long peeps...waitin to see wats happenin to my life...dwelling on pain...*grittin teeth* bwahz...BYE! hmm....it seems so easy to talk on msn , sms and emailing...but it seems so hard to talk to ppl face to face...maybe it's just me...haha...zzz...i'm so alone...yesterday was ok...church was fun , went plaza sing with my buds...havta say sorry to jeremy...yea...erm...coleman went for camp...damn sian...yesterday i had a lonely moment too...sat down sumwhere in bishan after my buds had to go sumwhere...then later wasnt bored le...met a fren coincidentally...dots...then later went to j8 meet jeremy and christian....it was damn fun with them...every second we laughed at the lamest thing lor...at j8 already laugh so loud...ppl think we siao...then coming back to church , we also laugh non-stop....yea....haha....then today....hmmm....morning went gym with andre and andrew....can u believe it? i actually went gym....haha....andrew damn strong la...haha....shhh....then went home lo...so now damn lonely and bored....now...i'm telling the com my story....writing it now...haha....yea...i'm lame.....tmr sunday....sian....hope next week will be 1 of my best week....must enjoy....no regrets....oh....btw....i made a quiz out of boredom...try it...see how much/lil' u noe abt me...if its 50 and below...dun come here again! haha...no la...then at most try to get to noe more abt me lo....dots...nth special tho...i'm just a nobody....hiya....if u wanna noe my 2nd blog , ask me on msn , hahas....till next time...i'm OFF! whee.....BANG*ouch* dammit sia.....freakin sian....stupid ncc crap....argh....lol....today course ended at 740 ard there....reached home at 810....damn pissed.....grrr.....now i'm so sad and lonely....i guess....almost no 1 online.....drifting away to lala-land...sum1 plz....join me?=/ ....heh.... wishin upon a star?nah...it doesnt work....not when u're alone....where even the stars dun even twinkle at u....all it does is slowly disappearing....desertin u to darkness....and...the moon is too high for me to cling on....the stars are takin the moon with them too.....which then leaves me to absolute darkness and emptiness....zzzzz




so....guess this blog's going on eh? yea....haiz....dreads.....my brothers dun tag....each 1 probably too busy with a gal....haha....some best frens dun too for godknows why , so.....yea....great....it sucks.....totally.....tats it......i'm G()n3....... looking at my tagboard...finding it pathetic...no 1 tags my blog anymore...my bros only tag their 'special sum1' blogs , best frans dun tag too for god knows why.....so the point is...i'm thinking of closing my blog for sometime.....until some1 really wants me to put it up again...hahaz...thanks to TAM FUDGE tho....loyal tagger and blog viewer...sorry if i have to close my blog...has....maybe its a waste of my effort...lolz....zoinks...like WADever....so anyway....tmr and the day after and the day after tmr...i got the freakin ncc shit...and feeling damn sad and bored and empty...inside me....




sigh...i hate pain lei...i dun like to bleed...get blueblacks...and the most painful 1.....i shan't say.....u guess it urself....near ur center of gravity.....the place where it hurts....aww....pain like getting stab 1000 times over....and sumtimes it doesn't seem to stop....yea....maybe there's sum kind of hospital that can stop the pain....i dunno....waitin for it to heal....but....WhEn?-.o?